Mass media indoctrinates us with confusing and misleading complications of different countries having their own special pride- they advocate their own country and practice nationalism very often. Essentially, it is important to find in within us pride and love for our country, putting a focus line in par with patriotism. Never ever had it been imaginable that a thirteen year old Singaporean held such an experiential comprehension of patriotism after that incident......
It was 1942. Rafe lived his past 13 years in serenity and wealth, enjoying life and taking everything he had for granted. As a zephyr of wind caressed his amber cheeks, he felt an instinctive tug, unbeknownst for the cause of it,he felt it was unusual; he rarely had such tugs. His sensitivity to danger inclined rapidly when the tugs changed from sporadic to frequent, telling him to leave the country with his parents at all costs; he was confirmed immediately when Rafe's younger brother Rafferty tugged him on the shirt and pleaded," Brother, it seems like we're in danger. Can we leave the country? I have a feeling Singapore will be stricken with a catastrophe too gargantuan on a scale. Please? " Rafe's palpitation ceased to end; instead it grew more furious- all he was thinking was : What should I do? Singapore seemed all to protective, and was doing very well with its entrepot trade, why was there a need to leave the country? Why had he felt such instincts so unfathomable till tumultuous inner groaning of fear never seemed to stop- at all.
He had his answer soon.
"BOOM!"The tranquillity of the city was shattered by the thunderous bombings and air raids from the Japanese Zero Fighter Planes were professionally conducted on Singapore; and from this very moment onwards, devastation and distraught,frenzy and chaos ruled the country- it never seemed a Singapore ever. Rafe's house was far from the bombings, but it was deafening enough to generate a jolting effect, to interrupt him from his worrying instincts. "What is happening?!" Rafe stammered in utter shock and disbelief, as he stood transfixed to the earth, his semi-consciousness snatched off him.
"Rafe! Run!!! Hurry!!!" Rafe spun around in panic just to see a Japanese soldier man-handling Rafferty, flinging him everywhere and threatened to kill him. "Hey! Stop it! "Rafe commanded the soldier as if a commando commanding his whole battalion; no sooner had his command been ignored than he landed a huge right fist into the chest of the soldier. Clutching his chest, the soldier struggled with his windpipe; seemingly damaged-much to the relief of Rafe and his brother- he started coughing out blood had chest spasms frantically desperate to clear his windpipe from the rushing oozing blood- his face turned purple; his whole body shivered and curled up in torment- it seemed pretty much like a mutation. " Run Rafferty! GO!" Rafe shrieked in apprehension as the whole army was charging their way.
The whole city was strewn into pieces, the harbour was bombed, the shipyard was bombed, people were robbed, killed instantaneously, tortured. Singapore was in pieces; a few minutes ago, rather peaceful, now, catastrophic. The soldiers shot anyone whom they saw with their bayonets and raped any woman they felt like; the rubble on the floor intensified, the pressure and shakings of the ground caused many to fall and be picked on by the soldiers. The ships were all blown up, and it was an emergency; the Singapore military rushed their way down to the city to protect the lives there. It was a clash of the militaries, ammunition were all over the place, bullets flying everywhere, it became a broken city. Corpses lied on the floor, leaving stenches of disgust, and shun. The victims shrieked in hysteria. The body count leapfrogged to a high- it was a total frenzied disaster.
It seemed like a captain targeted Rafe and Rafferty alone; due to the fact that Rafe had beaten up one of his men so badly.
Both Rafe and Rafferty had long been sprinting on their wobbling feet, which were bruised till turquoise from the impact on the rubble, and the sweltering heat weighed them down, as much as they could not control, everything seemed to be targeting them. Panic punctuated their hearts as they were shell-shocked, yet now at the position whereby they were clinging on to dear life. They twisted and turned through the distressed yet messy corpses, and even hobbled pass many bodies under the trapped rubble; not ignoring the stampede which was contributed by a fleeing majority, which worsened the whole environment.
Rafferty sunk into deep thoughts : What am I to do?Death is awaiting me. I HAVE TO RUN. It is the only option I have left. A huge bomb blasted 50 metres from them, and the impact and shudder of the shockwave ripped Rafferty from his consciousness. As he began to plunge into unconsciousness, he started to think about the tug he had in the morning; he should have listened to it. It was too late. How would he now become? Would he become one of the corpses on the rubble? Or would a miracle save him. Yes, only a miracle can save him now; the Japanese soldiers are catching up very fast, devouring the distance between them second by second. And before his mind shut down into an hysterical silence, the last thing he thought of was Rafe.
Meanwhile Rafe had huddled himself away and dodged the shockwave, and hidden himself well in a dark alley.He could not stand the sight of the corpses but his attention was caught to a commotion on the other side of the alley.
A Japanese soldier had captured 10 young men and shouted at them ," If anyone of you here dare die , I shall release the rest of the 9. They stared among each other intensively, none wanting to sacrifice himself. In laughter, the soldier screamed in a deafening shrill" DIE YOU PEOPLE!!", and pointed his bayonet and them. This moment, another young girl who had witnessed the commotion went up to the soldier and said " If you stop your invasion on Singapore, I will definitely die for her. As for them, do not kill them, take me out instead. I want to die for the country proudly. That is my last wish, but ironically seems to be coming very fast. So please, I beg you, to cease all attacks on Singapore. It is my homeland, and I do not want to see Singapore like this; it hurts me. Kill me. Spare Singapore and these boys."
As Rafe went agape, and admired the bravery and patriotism such a small girl had. He wanted to stand up to see what would happen when suddenly a large rod hit him on the head. As Rafe now, dipped into yet consciousness, realized how patriotism could have such an influential impact on such a small girl, he felt shamed and digraceful, but his awe stood in admiration of such nationalism. Before he went blank, the tsunami of thoughts flooded his mind, he thought he was going to die. To him, death was imminent.
It seemed like an eternity when Rafe finally awoke, and he rubbed his bleary eyes, glancing in unfamiliarity of the four walls he faced.Beside him was Rafferty. It dawned upon him that the Singapore military managed to chase off the Japanese. Rafe stared at the aqua clear sky- no longer tumultuous- and the only thing Rafe could think of was when that little girl showed such patriotism and identity for her country. She stood up for 10 other guys and her country for her own life. She thoroughly deserved such admiration for linking such an identity with Singapore. It was completely experiential and amazing. As fear turned into joy, I started to think of my last wish too.
-Benedict Chin
Very Well done Composition, innovative and interesting also very creative and wide range use of vocabulary.
ReplyDelete(Chua Jun-Kai Ambrose 7 2A2)14/2/2011
Benedict, I appreciate the ambition that it takes to write about the past, especially such a tumultuous time like WW2 in Singapore. And I think you've done a lot here to convey the chaos and uncertainty of the Japanese invasion.
ReplyDeleteBut much of this is muddled, where I'm not exactly sure what is going on from moment to moment, and I think a lot of this is due to the fact that you're not quite in control of your writing. I can see the effort here that has gone into writing in a more florid style, with a large vocabulary, but it comes off as clumsy and inaccurate. It also strains the reader's credulity to have a character say things like, "I have a feeling Singapore will be stricken with a catastrophe too gargantuan on a scale." Who really talks like this?
My strong suggestion for your final draft is to pare down your language. Don't worry about sounding fancy; instead, focus on the characters and the story, and try to tell it as clearly as you can.
And please change one of the brothers' names: Rafe and Rafferty are too similar, and I kept confusing the two, as there are no other characteristics given to differentiate them. Also, the first paragraph is unnecessary prologue, and you can delete it.